WHY I RUN

I was recently asked by my company's fitness trainer to write a paragraph on what motivates me to run. This paragraph was to be published in the company fitness newsletter. This was supposed to be a simple task, but alas, it is not that simple. When people used to ask me why I run, my usual response was, 'If I have to explain it to you, then you wouldn't understand it anyway.'  But it is now a new year. Time to re-think and evaluate life and why I do the things I do. Time to face my doubts of 'am I really a runner?' 
This year marks my fith year as a 'runner'. I can't believe that I have been running for five years. I realized that now, I truly feel like a runner. It is in my blood. It is what I have to do. When I first started running five years ago and I told people that I was a 'runner', I felt like a fraud. A 'runner' was tall, lean and most importantly, fast. They ran effortlesslly with the wind in their hair and a smile on their face. Their sweat glistening in the sun off their tanned, sinewy muscles. I could not possibly be a 'runner'. A runner did not struggle at a turtle's pace gasping for air like a guppy out of water. Runner's did not have short legs and cellulite and an extra 10 pounds that refuses to come off. Runner's did not lose all their toenails and have mother nature visit with a monthly gift that depleted them to nothing.  With all these issues, how could I possibly be a runner? Then, I showed up at my first 5K. I looked around me as  people of all shapes and sizes, and as young as 9 to as old as Methuselah, toed the start line with me. Everyone of them ran in their own style and pace. I experienced the same startling revelation at my first marathon. It  amazes and most importantly inspires me, when someone flys past me carrying an extra 100 pounds or hunched over from kyphosis and old enough to be my grandma or great grandpa! These people are awesome! They do not let these thoughts or physical limitations slow them down or hold them back from doing the things that they love. So I have come to realize these past five years that a runner is a runner. It does not matter how fast they run, what they look like or how old they are. It is as simple as that.
Now, back to my project of writting a paragraph on what motivates me to run. I had to think hard on this because running to me is a much deeper experience than just running. There are so many reasons why I run that to narrow this down to a paragraph was very difficult. So I decided upon three reasons; here they are :
1. I am not a good runner. But because I run, I am a better person. Starting my day with a morning run clears my head, makes me feel that I have already accomplished something, and because of the endorphins, I feel good and I am happier. This has a two fold effect as this makes the people who have to work with me and live with me, happier.
2. When I run, it gives me a chance to problem solve. I’ve had some of my best idea’s and solutions occur when I run.
3. But the main reason I run is this : sometimes, when I run by myself, I have one of these amazing moments when I focus only on my breathe and the rhythmic beat of my footsteps. It takes me to that still quiet place – it is there, that I can truly feel God’s presence. It is pure bliss.

Namaste'

THE SECRET WORLD OF RUNNER'S

I haven't posted in a while. Truth is, I've been very, very busy.  My life has changed drastically over the last year. I went to work for a hospital in Springfield last September.  There's  another whole different story that I won't go into about how and why I started work when and where I did.  Seven months later I transferred with that hospital to an associated branch in Orlando. A move from small town Missouri to Orlando was a drastic one and need I say a culture shock. Orlando, it turns out, is a city of extremes. But the thing I could not get used to was the traffic. The hustle and bustle was dizzying. I spent a lot of time searching the windows of the thousands of cars I saw on a daily basis for 26.2 stickers - anything that would tell the world that there were other runners out there. I saw ONE, the whole time I was there.  Orlando was not a bad place, but it just was not the place for me. So I began scouting the area for a more laid back way of life and alas, my hunting came to an end when I was offered a great job in Sarasota. We visited the area and loved it!  Without hesitancy, I quickly accepted my new job offer. 
I have lived in Sarasota a week and a half now.  It already feels like home to my family.  This is what we have searched for for years! We have spent our time blissfully running on the beautiful white sand beaches and deliriously biking the quaint little island of Siesta Key.  The beaches are one of Noah's favorite places, and I have concerns that he may grow fins!  After feeling so left out of my passion of running and biking in Orlando, I am now in a triathlete's paradise. There are 26.2, 13.1, 70.3 stickers plastered in the windows of lots of cars here all whom honk, wave, or give a thumbs up to others who have the same stickers.  Acknowledgement to the connection and appreciation to all things physical.
This morning, my husband and I joined a running group.  We showed up at 5:30am this morning at Fleet Feet downtown Sarasota expecting to get in a pleasant run and get to know some fellow runners.  What I did not expect to find on this run was a secret world of runners.  We began our run downtown Sarasota and headed towards Ringling Bridge (pictured above). As we got closer to Ringling Bridge I was surprised when I began to see hundreds of other runners and running groups running in the dark. There was hardly any traffic and the few cars that were on the road slowed down and respected the runners. Where have I been??? This was a runner's heaven! I felt as if I had discovered a whole new world. There were all shapes and sizes of people running all different paces.  It was awesome! We ran the most beautiful route onto Bird Key and around Lido Key.  We ran 10 miles in sweet paradise. 
This afternoon, while I was writing this blog, my husband was outside and met our new neighbor.  He brought her in to meet me.  Low and behold, she is a triathlete.  She had just completed a triathlon this morning. She has also done 4 or 5 half ironman's.  Her wealth of information and accomplishments were astounding and motiviating.  I can't wait to get to know my new neighbor more!
I'm looking forward to learning more about Sarasota and all that it holds.  I hope to start blogging again about my training and all the ups and downs.  Life is good!  
Lunch with my family after a long run at Pei Wei's - $20.00 . Pedicure for my aching feet - $25.00.  Finding the place that is home sweet home - PRICELESS! 
I will keep you posted!
Namaste'


**Just a side note : If I could move the rest of my family and friends here from Missouri it would be PERFECT!!! I do miss them so.

VIEW POINT

At this point in my life I have some huge decisions to make.  I have been offered two opportunities to relocate with the hospital that I am currently working for.  One is in Tallahassee Florida and the other in Orlando. This week, my husband and I flew to Orlando to check out both cities as well as meet my potential new employers. Dreaming of warm weather and sunshine, the first thing I packed was my running shoes. Visions of running down a trail framed in ancient, crooked oak trees dripping with Spanish moss made me giddy.  So off we went on our new adventure.  We arrived at St. Petersburg-Clearwater airport at around midnight Tuesday. We stepped out of the airport into a shocking, wind nipping 30 something degree cold that burst my happy, sunshiney bubble. We ended up at Denny's at 1:00am due to an unusual hankering for pancakes. Our first impression of the people of St. Petersburg was an attractive blonde lady of 44 (she announced her age to everyone in the restaurant) who was extremely intoxicated. She sat at her table with an equally attractive male companion singing an excruciatingly horrible rendition of Landslide and in between lyrics announcing how badly the world had treated her.  Meanwhile, as we ate our pancakes, which were sinfully delicious, in walks an attractive younger brunette in her 20's with her male companion.  She too was extremely intoxicated.  She sat down in her booth and proceeded to talk her most vulgar profanity as loud as she could without quite yelling it.  My hubby and I felt it was time to leave quickly and quietly for the makings of a big, attention seeking, drunken cat fight was in the works. 
The next day (Wednesday) we woke to discover from the morning news that an unusual cold front had moved into Florida, low of 30's with the high only in the 50's. Bummer.  So off we went to Orlando to meet my first potential new employer. She was a lovely, small lady with the most beautiful Spanish accent.  I believe we would work very well together. After the interview we drove around. We were quite confused with Orlando. Orlando was so large that we never figured out where we were at or got a bearing on where we would like to live before we had to leave. Our 'views' of Orlando were not good. 
Mike had made plans to meet his daughter, her boyfriend and his little girl for dinner in Lakeland.  We had a nice dinner at Harry's and a wonderful time with Chelsea, Justin and Hannah.  We asked if they would come and visit. Chelsea states "Why? There is nothing there." To which we inform, "Yes there is. There are hills...and um...curves, lots and lots of curves." Chelsea's 'view' of Missouri was not good. But alas, we had to leave for we had a four hour drive to Tallahassee.  We ended up driving Hwy 98.  Words for the traveling wise. Don't do that.   We passed through towns that had city limit signs but no cross roads, no gas stations, no house, nothing. Don't know why they had a city limit sign. One of these cities was named Otter Creek. A city of otters perhaps?  Along the way we saw lots of truck driving, mullet donning men (some possibly women) with bumper stickers that read 'bubba army' and pictures of confederate flags flying on the capital and 'to hell with the manatee's, save the redneck'.  I believe that Hwy 98 is the Florida twilight zone. We spent that night in Chiefland. Our 'view' of that part of Florida was also not good.
The next day we arrived in Tallahassee. The town was beautiful. It was quaint and charming.  The potential employer there was an attractive brunette with a southern accent. I believe that we would get along fine as well. I was educated by the Director of Business development (another beauty) about the town's local lingo. For instance, if a lady smiles at you, bats her eyes and says, "Bless your heart", what she really means is, 'You're dumber than a box of rocks'. Which made me very self conscious from that moment on, for all I could think about was my grandmother. As a kid, she used to say those words to me all the time.  Our 'view' of Tallahassee was great.
We drove the interstate back to St. Petersburg, where my hubby, worried about finding a computer, ended up getting a room with one in it so he could take an online college class test before midnight. He barely made the cut off time. Then back to the airport on Friday at 5am. With the news that a warm up was on the way and going to be in the 70's.  Bummer again.
With my discouragement at not getting to see and do all that I wanted to do in Florida, I arrived in Springfield trying to see it with 'fresh' eyes. I wanted to see it as if I had never been there before and was contemplating moving there. I have always lived in Missouri and I am so used to seeing my surroundings, that I don't really 'see' it anymore. Hubby dropped me off at the car so he could get to class and off I drove, 'seeing' my new surroundings. Five minutes after hubby dropped me off I had just pulled out from a stop sign when I came upon a police officer who immediately put on his lights and pulled me over. I asked "why?", and he stated that I was speeding. "I had just pulled out from that stop sign," I argued. "There is no way I was speeding." He gave me a ticket for speeding 42 in a 30 zone. Which was impossible.  So I politely said to the ticket welding officer, "Bless your heart," and drove off. My 'new' view of Missouri was not panning out so well either. 
We had spent so much time in the car and on the plane that I felt a 100 yrs old. We never once found the time or a trail to run on.  So yesterday, we got out to do a run. I was so stoved up that it was torturous. We ran only 4 1/2 miles. I only started to feel better after mile 3. Then we got our new bikes out and rode them for only 6 miles. I felt much better afterwards.  Sitting for that long of periods is very bad for the body. I felt as if I had totally decompensated.  
I have some life changing decisions to make.  All based on a not so broad of a view of all that is to be considered.  As of yet, I am leaning toward Orlando due to the location and all that it has to offer, even though my 'views' on Orlando was not so good, I do not want to base my opinion on a very limited knowledge base. 
I am feeling edgy. I need to find some quiet time to contemplate and meditate.  I am feeling a very strong need to paint and write. This huge decision not only affects me, but my family.  I need to get still so that I may 'see' my situation clearly and make the right decisions.  These jobs may be more lucrative, but things that are material in nature are not the things that appeal to me. However, these jobs offer a promise of adventure, new opportunities, and who knows where the path may take us. I shall keep you posted. I do not want to make any decisions based on a very limited 'view' point. 
Until then, may you 'see' your surroundings as if you had never 'seen' them before. And may your 'view' point never be limited!
Namaste'

A SPLIT SECOND

Thursday I skipped my 6 am boot camp workout. I had been tired all week and felt like I needed a break. So I got up at my usual 5am time and went to the living room. In the dark quietness of the house I sat and meditated on the beauty of the rare stillness of the moment. It is interesting how a house makes it's own unique sounds. The dogs snored softly in the hallway, the hiss of the water heater kicking on and the creak of the house as it adjusts to a slight temperature change. It's in these quiet  moments that I 'feel' life all around me. It's always there, it is just that I don't take enough time to be consciously aware of it. Something that I must work on. For this 'presence' is life.
Before I knew it 6 am was here and the usual hustle and bustle of the morning begins. Mike gets up to fix Noah breakfast while I head to the shower. On rare mornings like this, I also like to take Noah, my 12 year old son to school while I head into work.  On this day, we ended up sitting in an unusually long line of traffic. I happened to glance in my rear view mirror and noticed a young man sitting in the car behind us.  He appeared to be asleep. I thought to myself how strange that was and then quickly turned my attention to my son who chatted away about where the front of the traffic line was located. I drank my coffee while admiring his cuteness and thinking how quickly my children have grown up. Suddenly there was a loud crunching sound as we were hit hard from behind and thrust forward.  My coffee splashed everywhere as my son and I gasped in alarm. The young man behind us had apparently 'woke up' and suddenly hit his gas pedal. Nothing to be alarmed at with this incident. My son and I were fine and there was very minor damage to both cars. My point in bringing it up was this. Life can change in a second. 
I'm an RN and in the line of work that I do I see similar situations  like what occurred with my son and me, only they are magnified 100 times. I deal with the results of these accidents on a daily basis. One minute a young lady is talking to her son in traffic, and the next she is rear ended so hard that they both end up in ICU on a ventilator. Their family left to deal with the consequences  and decisions of the results of an accident that occurred in a split second due to someone not paying attention or being 'asleep' to their surroundings. 
One of my responsibilities in the role that I have at the hospital, is to help families make decisions with death and dying. Quality of life versus quantity of life. Each one is personal and everyone has different thoughts on this. Some will press forward with life no matter what state the body is in. Others accept letting go and would not want their loved ones to live in that state. My husband and I have discussed this situation thoroughly and know each others wishes. We chose quality of life, not quantity. Each person must arrive at their own thoughts on this matter in their own way and be respected with the decisions they make and the place they are at.  I have witnessed a 90 year old, five pack a day smokers cling to life at all costs and want all life preserving measures done, even if it meant living on a vent, in a bed and in a coma for the rest of their life. Yet, I have also witnessed younger people who chose to let go when life meant not living it as they were used to.
Yesterday, my husband and I went for a ten mile run. It was a great run. The temperature was 40 degrees and the sun was shining.  The birds sang to us the whole time and I noticed the trees had the beginning sprouts of Spring buds. It felt wonderful to get out and feel the pavement beneath my feet and the cool wind on my face. At points in the run when I started to struggle, I  focused on the stillness. Yes, even though I was running, there is stillness to be found. Be a silent observer. Listen to your breath, feel the sensations and there, that's where you will find the stillness. This stillness is being totally awake.
Life is precious. In a moment, it can be taken away. I want to strive to not 'sleep' through life, but to be 'awake' and observe life. To be aware of it around me at every moment. 
I encourage you, my reader, to do something you love every day, try something new. Try practicing being 'awake' at all times when you do these things. Oh, and most importantly, be sure and hug your loved ones and kiss them every chance you get, for life can change in a split second!
Namaste'

HIT BY A BIG RED TRUCK

Today, I wanted to go bike riding, but alas, this Ozark's weather has determined for me once again, that I shall stay inside. I sat in the house on this rainy, dreary gray day writing a monthly health article with my twin sister. Our articles are published in several local newspapers (you can read our published articles on our blog @ http://www.adoubledose.blogspot.com ).  I drank hot tea while nursing my sore legs.  We wrote about the benefits of sunshine, as we longingly looked out the double glass doors, yearning to see if there might be any breaks in the rain so we could dash outside and ride. But no sunshine was to be had. The sun must have taken another day off. Being lazy, I suppose, behind dark, heavy clouds and the rhythmic pitter patter of rain on the deck. So Audrey, Mike and I settled in and made the best of it by making warm comfort foods of homemade chicken soup and oatmeal scotchy cookies. 
Yesterday, I ran 20 miles. Mike, my hubby, ran the first 13 miles with me. We ran the Bass Pro half Marathon route in Springfield MO. We kept a nice 10 to 10:30 pace going all the way to his stopping destination.  My legs were a bit sore at that point and I could tell that I had an unusual amount of lactic acid build up too early in my run. But the day was a rare, sparkling sunny 55 degree day and I had to take advantage of this perfect weather. So I tried to make the best of it. I said good bye to hubby and off I went to complete the run. 
Without my hubby to talk to I started to notice the sounds of nature. The birdsong was amazing. They sang to me the entire run. It was beautiful. However, there lovely song started to dim and then eventually went unheard as my pain increased and my brain could not focus on anything else. My legs started to feel like lead between miles 16 and 17. What went wrong? I hobbled and walked the last 3 miles of my run. 
The problem, I believe, lies in the fact that I was not fueled properly. For one thing, I take a powdered magnesium supplement. I realized that I had not taken this supplement in several days and that I always took it before a long run.  I also try to fuel up on coconut water and water the day before a long run along with carb loading. I failed to do any of those things. I certainly paid for it.  Last week, my run went totally different. I had fueled properly and felt strong on my 16 mile run. I did not get sore at all from that run.  Now, at 16 miles, I was hurting. It was a terrible reminder of how important fueling up before a long run is. Lessoned learned.  I know that I will have runs where my body is tired and I just don't have it in me. But a lot of discomfort can be prevented if I had properly prepared my body. 
Last night I kept poor hubby up as I rolled around in bed and moaned with my stiff, aching body. Ibuprophen just didn't cut it. Lactic acid hurts. 
A dear man man I once knew named Bob (who has been released from this world) used to have a favorite saying to people when they did something stupid, "Duh, big red truck!" he would say with his unusual, beautiful, melodic voice.  Well, not only was not fueling properly a 'big red truck', but I felt as if it had ran over me and then backed up and ran over me again. Thanks Bob!
There will be better runs.  I will focus on the positive, and that is at least I got the run in. Next time, I will try and avoid that stupid big red truck at all costs!
Namaste'