LET GO OF THE TREE

I am going through a 'strange' season.  We all have them, or at least I think we all do.  Lately,  I have been in 'the rabbit hole' where things don't seem quite as they should be. Some peoples logic and justification on how they treat others seems warped (or at least from my perspective).  One such incident happened this week.  I was looking forward to getting to know a person that I thought would make a great friend when out of the blue this person alienated me.  I was shocked, stunned and hurt.  The thing that disappointed me the most about the sudden alienation was the removal of what I thought would be a future close friend and confidante.  Although my faith is not founded in people, I have not yet evolved enough to allow myself to not get hurt by their actions.  I am working on that.  I wanted the friendship so bad that I did not listen to what this person was saying.  Had I taken the time to truly listen I would have known what fate would bestow upon me for this person had treated every one else who started to get close to them the same way.  Hurting people hurt people. It is as simple as that.  I would have loved to have helped them, but alas, it is not my job to fix people when they do not want to be fixed.  Please don't get me wrong, I am certainly not perfect.  I am broken too.  I believe we are all broken to different degrees, it is all simply a matter of picking up our pieces and trying to put them back in place in the best way that we can. Perhaps I should work on my own listening skills for life's lessons come in many forms.  If you resist learning your lessons in their gentler forms, life is more than prepared to teach you through ever-increasing hardships. I think my lesson from this particular situation would be to work on my listening skills and work on my own thoughts that I allow to run amuck in my head at times.
Time to let go of the tree.
I say this saying to myself while I am running the beach and I find my thoughts wandering to a past hurt.
Let go of the tree.
Same thing with yoga, meditation, driving or anytime I find my thoughts going back to the unchangeable past.
Let go of the tree.
The tree story comes from a book I read called 'The Four Desires' by Rod Stryker.  The story goes something like this; An old man was out in the woods, while there a great storm came upon him.  The next day the villagers came out to survey their surroundings and realized that the old man was not among them and they went in search of him.  They found him out in the woods yelling "help me, help me!" Clinging to a tree in the bright sunshine, the old man yelled, "This tree will not let go of me!"
During the storm, the old man clung to the tree, but after the storm the old man refused to let go of his tree, even blaming the tree.  The thing that saved his life could have potentially become his fatal downfall.
Time to let go of the tree.
How someone treats you is a reflection of how they view themselves.  So when someone does something hurtful to you remember, it is generally not about you, only about them. Don't  take it personal and try to react with compassion. I don't know a lot, but one thing I do know is that there are a lot of hurting people out there and if we are not allowed to help them, then we must let go of the situation, focus inward and pay close attention to our own thoughts about them and the situation.
There are numerous scientific studies about thoughts and their impact on overall health.  Did you know that when you think of a past hurt your body releases the same stress hormones as it did when the actual event took place.  The body cannot differentiate what the mind is thinking versus the actual event!  Stress is believed to be the root cause of all disease!  So it is very important to think about what you are thinking so that you do not do your body any further harm.   This also falls under ahimsa: Do no harm.  Do no harm not only means to not hurt others, but do not hurt yourself as well!  So it is very healthful to keep a close watch on your thoughts.
When a hurtful situation presents itself to you focus on the lessons that have revealed themselves to you and what you could learn from the situation.  This turns the hurt into an opportunity to improve yourself  and thus the hurt then becomes a blessing and you will be better equipped to handle with grace the next time something similar happens.
If I could leave you with just one thought from this blog it would be this.
Let go of your tree my friend, the storm has passed.
Namaste'

TUCK AND ROLL

Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action there is equal and opposite reaction. This law applies to every situation in life. As long as you are alive on this earth you will experience multiple ups and an downs or highs and lows. THIS IS NORMAL. I was disappointed to discover that the older I got, life did not get any easier and that I was not immune to this law. This Universal law applies to everyone and will occur perpetually until the day we die – DANG IT!! Cause I was really looking forward to kicking back and enjoying a free ride.

2009 has been a particularly peculiar year for Mike and me. Our year started off very strangely. Here are just a few examples of events that have occurred. It started on Jan 1 with the death of a family member and has been on roller coaster ever since. The last two months have been particularly hellacious, to put it mildly. The string of peculiar events started in June with an unfortunate and sad episode with my close family.

The next week, while just completing a very enjoyable bike ride with my dear friend Denise, I walked into the house to find the phone ringing. On the other end my 17 year old son, Hayden states, “Mom, I’m in the ambulance, meet me at the hospital.” Needless to say, electrical currents shot out every pore of my body. Just a note to parents reading this, if your child is in the ambulance and is the one telling you to ‘CALM DOWN’, then chances are pretty good that it’s not a life and death situation. But still, on the mom stress scale, a phone call like this rates an 11. My precious son had slipped in the creek and was unfortunate enough to have caught his fall with his right hand which was smartly impaled into a very large and jagged piece of glass. This sounds like a minor incident, but this incident entailed 4 ½ hours of surgery at 1:00 am with a plastic surgeon to repair 6 severed ligaments and nerves. Hayden currently has no use of his right hand or feeling of his ring finger and will have to go to physical therapy two times a week for a whole year, not to mention that he may have to endure surgeries throughout his life to remove scar tissue to keep the function of his hand.

The very next week I had a freak “health” occurrence happen that is going to require surgery. (no insurance on me).

The next week my husband unexpectedly and suddenly lost his job (nothing to do with him or his job performance). This was not only financially devastating but emotionally devastating for me for I was pursuing my dream of becoming a full time artist but was not bringing in enough money on a regular basis to sustain us.

We have also had other “incidences” that have happened but they would be hurtful to other people if I mentioned them so I will not include them in this blog. Just a little funny at this point. My husband just happens to walk by and asks, “Whacha doin?” “Writing a blog,” I say. To which he replied, “Uh Oh…DO NOT make any more of my family members mad!” I got a good chuckle, for that has never been my intention, but…you know how that goes.

Needless to say, all these events had put tremendous financial stress on us. Mike and I knew that as bleak as things looked at the moment, that this too shall pass. I also knew, however, that while we were waiting on this season to pass, that it was a time to “tuck and roll”. Tuck and roll is a term I learned from horseback riding when I was 9 or 10 years of age. I was taught that if you fall off of a horse, you simply tuck and roll. Tucking helps protect your core, but most importantly the key is to keep your head from sounding like a coconut when it hits the ground= not good. The goal is to also help keep your appendages from snapping like a toothpick = also not good. Rolling helps combat Newton’s second law which states The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. Acceleration and force are vectors (as indicated by their symbols being displayed in slant bold font); in this law the direction of the force vector is the same as the direction of the acceleration vector. In other words, you want to roll as opposed to an abrupt SPLAT. You get the jest of it.

So in these times, when you find yourself unexpectedly and suddenly falling…tuck and roll. Oh, and just a note, it also helps to have a good friend or friends who know you, and despite that, still love you, with whom you can vent your woes too. This can be very therapeutic. Thank you to my priceless friends, (you know who you are).

Another little side note that I want to throw in. Listen for answers and pay attention to words or phrases that will catch your attention. For instance, the other day, I was in another room while my husband was flipping through channels on the TV. An old man was telling a younger man, “find fulfillment in everything that you do.” I knew that was a phrase that I needed to grab a hold of. So pay attention. I believe words of encouragement can come at just the right time even through haphazardly flipping TV channels.

An update on our current situation: Mike is now working in my studio in Branson. He is doing quite well. He also has done a few abstract paintings, which is a whole new area for him. He is growing and discovering new things about life and himself. Mike losing his job forced me to get out and get a job. As an RN we felt this would be the most feasible. This lead me into an opportunity of working at a specialty hospital as a Case Manager. The pay and benefits are excellent, I’m working with wonderful and talented people, but most importantly it has put me in a position of truly making a difference in peoples lives. I have found fulfillment in everything that I do.

My sad and unfortunate family situation will get resolved and we will be stronger as a family because of it.

As for my health occurrence, surgery is scheduled for next month and as it turns out, it is quite affordable and things will turn out just fine.

Where my 17 year old son is concerned, he graduates high school next year. He has dreams of becoming a doctor. He says that this experience not only afforded him the opportunity for a cool profile pic of him in the ambulance, but it has helped him with compassion towards other people, and as a result he believes that he will be a better doctor because of it. God has certainly blessed me with two awesome sons and two awesome step children.

So our season has passed for now. We are on the up swing. But I do know this for sure…as long as we are alive and kicking we will have more tuck and roll seasons. Our valleys will serve to make us wiser and more interesting, for everyone who is interesting has a past.

Many blessings to you.